Tag Archives: brisbane massage

Dear John: An open letter to Brisbane Sex ‘Punters’

Feature image
It’s been some time since I researched the massage forums. You see, it’s not something I get great pleasure from. Reading your discussions about jizzing on Asian massage workers and your jokes about the next bloke copping a taste, isn’t something I particularly enjoy.

However, a few days ago I decided to have a look through the forum, and was surprised to find, that after 18 months, one of you had finally come across my blog.

imagepng[6]

I found your discussion about me and my blog fascinating, to say the least. For a start, you were a lot less aggressive and derogatory than I expected. In fact, some of you even applauded my interests in anti-human trafficking, and concerns about women being forced or coerced against their will.

Of course, there were also the typical misogynist rantings about all feminists being angry and ugly. Because, of course! A woman MUST be ugly if she has something to say about society? Yawn.

“Question: Why is every single angry feminist, ugly? Sexual frustration and jealousy of younger better looking women masked as intellectualism.”

Overall,  many of you appear to be ‘normal’ guys. You find child abuse deplorable. You refer to those who push for extras and then don’t tip as ‘the scum of the earth.’ You criticise and talk about the horrible working conditions for many of these girls, who at times get fined by their mamasans for being late, calling in sick, or trying to leave. When a young massage worker is raped, you express anger.

But the main thing I’ve noticed about many of you, is the overwhelming hypocrisy and entitlement.

Dear Punters, no matter whether you treat these girls with abuse, or what you think is respect, you are being cowards. You are trying to offset your involvement onto others: the mamasans, the ‘dirty’ girls who really like it, the money hungry ‘whores’ who look at you like an ATM.

all the blame.jpg

Yet by your own admission, many of you are married, in relationships, and with kids. You talk about having a second phone (a ‘boner’ phone), about almost getting caught by your wife, and you gloat with your internet buddies about the random women you’ve punted, storing the names of your sexual conquests away in your mind like collectible cards.

Dear ‘Punters’ / Johns. Here is the reality.

Reality 1: You are lying to yourselves if you think you are innocent in this. You are the key for their supply. These women, and their Mamasans (no matter how cruel) would not be operating these shops if not for you. I’ve met some of the women who own these shops, and yes, I can certainly say they are not innocent. But I can also imagine that after going through this industry themselves, they probably welcome a chance not to have to put out for you men all the time. And if you find them so exploitive, why are you paying THEM money? Everytime you go there, you are putting more money in their pockets. But you don’t really care do you…

Reality 2: You don’t deserve paid sex/blowjobs/sex acts just because your wife ‘isn’t up for it’ as much as you are/you don’t have a connection anymore/blah blah blah. In fact, even if your wife is a total bitch, controlling and abusive, you do not get a free pass to cheat. You do not have a right to purchase someone to make you feel good. Get honest with yourself, stop being a coward, and leave your wife. Don’t want to be married? Then get a divorce. Want to be in an open relationship? Choose someone who is open to that. I would say the same to a woman.

Reality 3: You are not ‘helping’ these girls. You might think that you are a hero and that they are the ones using you (and most certainly, some will, because what other job options are screaming out for their poor English and low skill set?), but as I’ve said in other blogs, if you really cared about those less fortunate you would connect them with networks, people and organisations that could help them get ahead and truly experience Australia for all that it is. You are not helping them, you are helping yourself and using your position in society to justify it.

Imagine yourself living in another country, hardly able to speak the language of those around you, with little money or opportunity…now imagine that someone tells you about a way you can make money, with no experience necessary. You might have to masturbate some men or do other things, but hey, it’s better than having to have sex with them right? You’d probably be repulsed. But if that’s your only option, then you make the most of it.

Although, I’d hardly call that ‘choice’. 

imagepng[5]

At the end of the day, whether a girl truly enjoys what she is doing to you or not, you have noone to blame for you being there other than you. You don’t really care about the wellbeing of these women, just as you don’t care about your partners, wives or children.

We all have our flaws, our addictions, our temptations. But we all have the power to overcome them. Until you/we stop shifting the blame and take responsibility you will never be free of addiction. You don’t have to keep living this way, wasting money and cheating yourself of true intimacy and financial security  because of an addiction.

If you want to get help, the first step is to tell someone you can trust and find an accountability partner. The next step is to seek treatment and get rid of the things that exacerbate your temptation – that means getting rid of your second phone, installing anti porn blockers on your phone and computer, and deleting your forum accounts.

Yes, it will be hard. But it’s not impossible. Many men have done it before you, and many more will. And I say this wholeheartedly: Please get yourself help.

Need help with your relationship or addictions?

Mensline – 1300 78 99 78   http://www.mensline.org.au/

Feed The Right Wolf A site with lots of resources for those suffering sex addiction; including recovery coaching, a free 30 day trial of ”Covenant Eyes” (filtering software), and allows you to take sex addiction self-analysis tests. It also includes a forum where you can discuss your struggles or victories. There’s some really encouraging stories on there from men who have recovered (and young teenagers).

Sex Addiction Australia “A Sydney and Internet based national service and a professional sex therapist and specialist sex addiction therapy private practise. We provide confidential clinical sex addiction counselling and sex therapy for sexual addictions and sexual compulsive behaviours, for sexual dysfunctions, sexual health and safer sex, and we update you with sex addiction research & information.”

SA Aus also provides support to partners of men/women suffering from sex addiction. E: info@sexaddictionaustralia.com.au or call 02 9380 4486

Sex Addicts Anonymous includes information on meetings you can attend in various countries – including Australia (VIC/NSW/QLD)

Sexual Control Helping individuals with sex addictions since 1983, this site also allows you to download the book ”The most personal addiction” for free.

Fight The New Drug – Simple & clear information on how porn affects the brain, damages relationships, and how you can break free of addiction.

For interesting reading about the effects of Porn on your brain and whether it’s having a negative impact on your life/relationship, see this recent post from Triple J Hack. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Men who purchase women for sex – their own words

This is a straight-to-the-point no confusion blog post which I hope will highlight the reality of how johns (male purchasers of sex) view women. Too often, I will see people argue that johns are lovely people just looking to meet their sexual needs (because their selfish wives won’t put out, or just can’t keep up! Poor menz). I compiled this some time ago, but due to the nature of having to deal with such disgusting content, it has taken me some time to post.

TRIGGER WARNING – Graphic sexual discussions.  

A punter admit’s to seeing bruising and marks on ML’s, but is only worried about her image, not her safety. 

Cloud 9 extra's - Glory (4)

Women can be bought like meat from the butcher : 

like in a butcher

Punter’s don’t care if the young worker isn’t enjoying what they are asking :

girl disconnected from what she's doing

Punter admits to forcing and abusing women in massage shops & brothels :

forcing girls

raising a hand

 natural spring massage (1)

Punters admit to seeing signs of possible trafficking, but don’t care: 

QJ's albion - 2015

Punter shares that ML’s are often pushed to give sexual services, and then abused if they don’t. Other men admit that they don’t care in any way for the welfare of the women they abuse:

aggression toward ML's (3) - Copy

Punters discuss and critique women’s bodies, and rate them in dehumanizing ways :

attitudes toward women's bodies

attitudes toward women's bodies 2

Bamboo Panda - degrading women (1)

Bamboo Panda - degrading women (2)

Punter’s reveal why they prey on Asian ML workers, rather than going to brothels (as they’ve already abused and used prostituted women, and now want ‘fresh meat’).

attitudes toward brothel girls

Female sex worker’s are not respected even after they have died: 

southern cross motel (1)

Let’s be honest – Johns do not respect women, and they do not deserve anonymity. Sex work hurts women everywhere, and it contributes to a society where abusing and preying on women is seen as a ‘right’.

No human has a right to exploit another.

If you are a woman wanting assistance or advice with leaving the industry, please email me – she_warrior@outlook.com

If you are a man struggling with sex addiction, please seek help. The following websites may be a great place to start:

Feed The Right Wolf A site with lots of resources for those suffering sex addiction; including recovery coaching, a free 30 day trial of ”Covenant Eyes” (filtering software), and allows you to take sex addiction self-analysis tests. It also includes a forum where you can discuss your struggles or victories. There’s some really encouraging stories on there from men who have recovered (and young teenagers).

Sex Addiction Australia “A Sydney and Internet based national service and a professional sex therapist and specialist sex addiction therapy private practise. We provide confidential clinical sex addiction counselling and sex therapy for sexual addictions and sexual compulsive behaviours, for sexual dysfunctions, sexual health and safer sex, and we update you with sex addiction research & information.”

SA Aus also provides support to partners of men/women suffering from sex addiction. E: info@sexaddictionaustralia.com.au or call 02 9380 4486

Sex Addicts Anonymous includes information on meetings you can attend in various countries – including Australia (VIC/NSW/QLD)

Sexual Control Helping individuals with sex addictions since 1983, this site also allows you to download the book ”The most personal addiction” for free.

Fight The New Drug – Simple & clear information on how porn affects the brain, damages relationships, and how you can break free of addiction.

Who are the invisible men buying women in Brisbane?

‘Sex trafficking in Australia should not come as a surprise…” – Dr Caroline Norma, 2011.

Recently it came to my attention that sex trafficking and sexual exploitation exist within every fabric of society. In the world of trafficking there are no good or bad neighbourhoods, just opportunities for the vulnerable to be exploited by wicked people, and hidden in any way possible.

An anti-slavery video which was recently released asked the question, ‘If you could see it happening, would you stop it?’

The answer to this, should always be a resounding YES. But should we only be concerned with that which we can ‘see’?

Often the venues in which sexual exploitation occurs require us to truly ‘see’; to open our eyes, to search, to become more aware of our own neighbourhoods. It is not enough to only speak out about the things that are blatantly revealed to us. We must go further than that, and reawaken our senses to our surroundings. When you do, I guarantee that like me, you will be shocked at just how rampant sexual exploitation is in our own backyards.

My foray into investigating sexual exploitation within Brisbane began recently, after reading reports of Asian women being trafficked within the beauty/massage industry. After reading this, I thought of massage venues I had seen which seemed somewhat suspicious, and began to look into them further.

It wasn’t long before I found a pattern. Nearly every venue was the same…they ran from old houses, operated until 10pm every night, employed strictly young Asian women who spoke little English, dealt mostly in cash, kept the windows covered with wrapping paper so as to stop anyone from seeing inside, and had discreet parking areas.

I was certain that the women in these venues, at the very least some of them, would currently be suffering from exploitation or perhaps even trafficking…I knew I had to do something.

This was the moment that I delved into the seedy underground of Brisbane’s sex-purchasing industry, and what I found, disgusted me to my very core.

I’ve visited several of these venues myself and talked with girls, one of whom opened up to me about the daily sexual harassment she experiences, and the sexual requests that many of her friends give into.

“Most of my clients are men…sometimes they ask for things that I don’t want to do,” she admitted. “I try to be tough and tell them no, but some of the other girls give in. They get paid extra.”

In some of these venues I have seen young Asian women emerge from massage rooms dressed in mini skirts, followed by old overweight caucasian men. I have seen young men walking out of bathrooms, while the young ‘masseuse’ clutches a hand protectively around her stomach, walking into the bathroom slowly to clean up. I have seen discreet ‘back entrances’ where men can make a quick exit after their ‘massage’, and drive off as if they’ve done nothing wrong.

As well as scoping out the venues I have also been researching online, and without fail every single venue I have been suspicious of, has been featured online on either a XXX review Twitter account, or male adult forums. On these forums, men discuss women like they are merely pieces of meat, swapping tips on the best venues to go to if a man wants to ‘punt’ for sexual favours. They criticise the women in our massage parlours on every facet of their physique – their faces, their breasts, their personalities. They ‘rate’ the hottest ones, and complain about going for massages only to find that the girl was ‘tubby’ with an ‘ugly face’, but ‘okay tits’. They brag about the ‘extras’ they get from the girls with enough ‘cajoling’, and then whinge about the hand jobs being too ‘mechanical’.

The sense of self-entitlement these men have is absolutely revolting. It is as if the exchange of money for a massage automatically entitles them to sexually harass women into getting what they want, and then berate them online if they don’t meet their selfish fantasies.

Below are some of the comments from male adult forum users – Warning: May be distressing for some.

1911748_10152018360067483_721426631_n

“Went there today . She pretty good but she doesn’t let you touch her.which is a shame cos I wanted a handful of her big tits.”

“I went to this place not long after it opened and wasn’t impressed with the girl, not a very good massage and mechanical action.”

“1st visit saw a young looking girl. I was being nice but she didn’t seem interested. I was so frustrated when she finished she was worn out. Felt like I was a exercise instrument for her daily gym work out. Flip over got offered 30 hj. 50 top only off no hj. 100 nude with hj. Went with 30 no build up just tug away. Disappointed.”

“Hmm she was thai lady but I would say late 30’s maybe early 40  so not really a “girl” lol. But hey was friendly no stunner but not butt ugly “

 “IMHO mostly are just average looking, some are fugly. Only seen one or two who are beauitful/ good looking. Most of them are small and short. IMHO she is just an average looking and not a great body. For $40 or $60 I now come to a conclusion it’s a waste of money as they are normally not really good at deep tissue. They are more for RnT. And why wants to be RnT-ed by just an average to fugly looking gals? Oh yeah they offered a HJ for an extra $40 that they don’t think it’s a rip off. Not only you can’t see them naked, you can only touch them a bit here and there.”

“Recently, I found that there is a lot of Chinese Massage shops here with hand job. Most of the ladies are students. They are young and quite pretty. (lucky me, I didnt see any ugly ladies, haha)”

“Last time i went i didnt see any hotties at all. one girl looked a bit on the other side, and the other girl was a bit of a pork chop. should i go during the day or something? i went on a sunday night…probably wrong timing or the hotties were already taken. Ended up going to ——– and wasted $128 there. It’s a shame they make you pay first before you get to look at the girls. I don’t think I will go back there for a while.”

I love Asian women as they are sexier, more feminine and you don’t get the attitude you get from overpriced and often angry butch Caucasian women.”(Dear Punter 2: Wow, aren’t you a charmer)I might have to pick ’em all up, cramp them into a room, similar to those JAV scenes”

“This shops is still the same old dirty shop with dirty girls who will do anything you ask them to do for the right amount of money ..”

***

These are the invisible men who are abusing and exploiting young women. And I will not turn a blind eye to what they are doing.

I will be going into these places and meeting the young women who they treat as objects; the ones they deem ‘too ugly’, who they deem as ‘failures’.

Because they are not. They are human beings who were created to be so much more.

I will do whatever I can to take these men’s ‘play things’ away from them, and bring the women something better. I’m not sure yet what that means, but I’m open to whatever God wants me to do.

This weekend I am starting by going to the police with my investigations – screen shots, photographs, and research reports listing the venues where these women are being used. And let’s be clear about one thing – it’s not the women who are the problem, it’s the men who are purchasing them, and they are the ones who I want to pay the ‘true’ price.